HOW

i dont understand 

how i can smile all day long and cry myself to sleep at night ?

how pictures never change but the people in them do ?

how my bestfriend can become my worst enemy ?

how strange it is when my worst enemy turns into my bestfriend ?

how forever turns into a few short months that i'd do almost anything to get back ?

how i can let go of something once i said i couldn't live without ?

how even though i know something is best for me , it just hurts the same ?

how the people who once wanted to spend every second with me ,

think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare?

how people make promises 

despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken ?

how people can erase me from their lives 

just because its easier than working things out ?

how ? simple answer : PEOPLE'S CHANGE

they told me that i have to MOVE ON :)

well , haaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

its been such a long long and tired day to through all this :p

i got myself thingking every single night in my bed before i go to sleep , 

thingking about everything that has happened in my life for a few days ago..

then i realized , i cant be like this everynight , 

crying over someone that never love me , thingking about someone that left me..

i should never cry over someone that won't cry over me ,

i should never fight for someone that won't fight for me

you know , what hurts more than losing you is knowing you're not fighting to keep me..

should i blame "love" for making me think about you everyday ?

or should i blame you for making me feel this way ? 

hah.. i blame  it on my mind..

dear boy , 

you had me wishing that we were "something" , 

then you just left me here with a whole of nothing..

i try not to admit it to anyone that i still feel this way

nobody knows that i still wake up thingking of you each day.. aargh

so its all my fault that you gave up ??

i'm the only one still standing here holding on to everything that you let go of..

who do you think you are ?!

running around leaving scars ,

collecting your jar of hearts , 

and tearing love apart ?!

i'm gonna move on , it just not normal anymore..

because its been 23 days and i just cant get over it. What a fool..

it may seem like the hardest thing to do , 

but i have to forget the person who forget about me.. right ?

actually , i'm not ready for this situation , i won't ready :(

i dont think that i'm ready to see you with another girl..

aaaaaaaaaaaaa just thingking about that , i cry -__-

but who am i ? i'm not anyone for you anymore :)

i let my heart be sincere , because i know you dont really see my worth 

you leave me easily , you forget me easily , so why i'm not ??!!

with a little help from my friends , i realized! 

you never love at all. if you love me , at least you'll never leave me , but you did..

i hide all  my problems behind my smile

behind my smile is a world a pain

you think you know me ?!

but you have NO IDEA !

it sucks when you miss that person so much that you look through the old photos , old text messages , even old statuses , and it bring a smile to your face , but then the hurt comes back and you know you shouldnt be looking back , but you cant help it , because they're really meant something to you and you thought it would be lasted..